Jeff Foxworthy on Educators

YOU might be a school employee if you believe the
playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next
person who says,
"Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.

YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name
your own child because there's no name you can come up with
that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.

YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full
moon or if it going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!!
Without ever looking outside.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe, "shallow
gene pool" should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe that
unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the
kids sure are mellow today."

YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you
feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not
know and correct their behavior.

YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life
between August and June.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should
have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.


YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some
parents MANAGED to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an
obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home
schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should
they decided to move out of district.

YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should
be available in intravenous form.

YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the
ACLU could think that covering your students chair with
Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the
corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the
public.

YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent
instantly answers this question, "Why is this kid like
this?"

YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a
mammogram over a parent conference.

YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should
invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and
chairs for that matter!

YOU might be a school employee if the words "I have college
debt for this?" has ever come out of your mouth.

YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days,
minutes, and seconds are left in the school year.